PART TWO: JULY
One
“Wow, Sam, your boobs got really big!”
Samantha laughed and glanced down at her cleavage. “Ohhh yeah.” She looked at all of her other friends – Kelly, Melissa, and Andrea – and they looked at her breasts. “What, are you guys men now?”
They laughed hard. “Well, y’know it’s gonna happen to all of us,” Melissa said then.
“Not if we don’t get pregnant,” Andrea responded.
“I thought you wanted kids?”
Andrea shrugged. “Well, yeah, sure, but that doesn’t mean I want to get pregnant. I could just adopt.”
“I suppose that’s an option,” Kelly said and pressed her hands on Samantha’s belly. “It feels so strange.”
Samantha nodded and patted it herself. “Tell me about it.”
The girls were all in bikinis, ready for an afternoon dip in the ocean. They were simply waiting for the boys to come back with beach snacks and suntan lotion. Samantha had surprised herself by wearing a two-piece at this point in her pregnancy, but she figured ‘what the hell, right?’ Who was she trying to impress? She was married and Alex was all for it.
“Whoa! Someone’s got some pretty powerful legs!” Kelly suddenly gasped.
“I think that’s his arms, actually,” Samantha replied, hands pressing on her belly, trying to get a feel as to where the baby was.
“Wow, crazy.”
“No kidding.”
“So are you ready for this? This whole Mom thing?” Melissa questioned.
“Oh hell no!” Samantha answered with a laugh. “No way. But . . . but . . . I think I’m going to be when it comes screaming and pooping into my life.”
“What about Alex? How’s he doing with all this?”
“You’re kidding, right? Alex is all kinds of geared up. We went Target the other day and he dragged me into the sports equipment section and was going on and on about what he wants to buy when the little guy gets old enough to hold a ball.”
“It’s so weird to think of Alex as a Dad,” Andrea stated. “But that’s cool.”
“Yeah. It is.”
And it really was.
The front door suddenly opened and all the girls got their feet. Samantha was struck with how much she missed them; even though Andrea went to Luthor College across the state. Considering how bored she had become since she and Alex moved down here, they made for the perfect distraction and a fantastic new source of interest for her. She had missed these women, these friends.
Two
The last time they were all gathered together was at Alex and Samantha’s wedding.
It was a small wedding and while not really what Samantha had dreamed of having, it was still quite lovely and it warmed her heart every time she thought back to it. Nestled in a bed and breakfast resort in the Blue Ridge Mountains, she was married to Alexander and took his name. On Valentine’s Day.
The wedding played out in a lodge. Half of the resort had been rented out for this event. The room was a decent size, though with everyone in it, it became rather cozy and warm. Huge windows gave the wedding goers a beautiful view of the valley below and the mountains that curved around it. Snowflakes poured constantly from the heavens, coating the mountains and bare trees in thick white layers. A fire chirped and crackled next to the windows and that’s where Alex and his Best Man, Jimmy stood. A Pastor was there, also, a round, bald man who smiled genuinely at them and gave no sense of judgment. His kindness gave Samantha a leap of faith.
The room was filled with about thirty-odd people in all. A few friends, but mostly just family. Uncles, aunts, cousins, and a grandparent.
Donald was given one task and one task alone – to enter the room and turn on the CD player. He did so and when he did and music began to pour out, the precession began. Dusty, Melissa; Staci, Roger; Rachel, David. Todd, Kelly, and Andrea were all in the audience.
Everyone watched, then, as Samantha came down the aisle. Her belly was starting to show, but it wasn’t quite prominent yet. An empire waist dress hung gently down across her middle, hiding the belly (for the most part). Her fourteen year old brother Jack was giving her away; she hadn’t seen her father since she was twelve and hadn’t heard from him since she was eighteen.
The ceremony was simple and straight-forward. She vowed herself to him and he vowed himself to her. It was brief, it was quiet. It was unplanned, it was put together fast, and it wasn’t what she dreamed of as a little girl growing up . . . but it was a wedding and she really did love Alex.
She really did.
Their first dance was to Bryan Adam’s “Everything I Do.”
Dinner came afterwards in the next room. The evening sunlight came into the room briefly; the sky outside was gray and thick above the snowy mountains. The food was decent, but nothing to write home about. She watched as wine was poured into everyone’s glasses but her own. It wasn’t exactly fair – she had turned 21 and was finally allowed to legally drink . . . only to be stuck being without it for nine months.
The gift from Alex’s father was a check for $20,000. He also told them: “Spend the summer at the beach house. It’ll be one big fling for you before parenthood. I’ll make all the arrangements.” He did so and they raced on down once the semester ended. Samantha switched doctors and Alex got a job at his father’s chain. The baby would be born here and they would then move back up to Maxwell – in an apartment of their own. It was all so nice and neatly planned.
Three
Just like at her wedding, Samantha watched as alcohol was poured all around. She watched jealousy as her girlfriends and the boys stood out on the porch, getting hammered. The sun above dipping into the horizon and music pounded from an expensive stereo. The porch door was open, allowing cold air to escape and mosquitoes to enter. Samantha shut the door, stopping both. She turned her back to the party she was hosting but wasn’t a part of.
Maybe that’s okay. Maybe it’s time to put this behind you . . . even though you didn’t get a chance to really get into it.
Samantha’s back ached and she walked over to the couch. The day at the beach had been a ton of fun, but exhausting all the same. She plopped down and took in a deep breath, regarding the thought that perhaps she spent her last summer being a party girl was last year.
As if on cue, Kelly and Andrea came stumbling in. “Hey girl! What are you doing in here? Party’s outside!” Andrea exclaimed.
“It’s hot.”
“It’s summer! Wooo!” Kelly lifted a margarita to her lips and downed it.
“Well done,” Samantha stated and smoothed out her shirt against her stomach. “The baby likes the music. He moves a lot when the bass gets loud. Oh! Like that!”
“Awesome,” Kelly replied. “Rock that uterus out!”
Andrea put her hand on Samantha’s womb. “Oh yeah, wow. He must think he’s at a sweet-ass rave party or something.”
Samantha laughed. “I guess so.”
Kelly made herself busy in the kitchen as Andrea took a seat next to Samantha. “Still going back to school?”
“Yeah, definitely. A semester off, then we’re going to figure out a schedule that’ll let us both go to school.”
“Will you be working?”
“I’m not sure. If I do, it might not be much. Alex is going to be full-time or something back up at the ‘Fish, Bird, and Fresh Market’ near Maxwell. I really want to concentrate on college and the baby.”
She didn’t tell Andrea this, but there were times – irrational times – that she was angry at the boy in her belly for messing up her college plans; for delaying her and making things already harder. She would deny this irrationality for as long as she could, though, and it would (in time) fade away.
“Here ya go! Virgin margarita even though you’re not!” Kelly laughed, placing a glass on the coffee table.
“Really?! I had no idea!” Samantha responded, laughing and taking the drink.
Kelly started laughing uncontrollably, nearly spilling her drink. Samantha looked to Andrea, who shook her head in amusement.
“You’re pretty drunk, ain’t ya?” Andrea questioned.
“Drunk and pretty, yep!”
“HAMBURGERS AND HOT DOGS ARE DONE!” shouted Alex suddenly barging in with a plate baring such grilled meat.
“I’ve got buns!” Kelly yelled back and smacked her own ass. Todd walked over to her and put his arm around her shoulders.
“Okay, babe, let’s get ya some food . . . and maybe some water . . .”
“Wooo!”’
Four
Samantha cried Monday night, when her friends jetted back home. She wasn’t exactly sure why, nor why she hid it from Alex. She sat in the kitchen and cried for a while, then went upstairs to the loft. Alex was sitting on the couch, watching some mindless summer replacement show. It was reality TV.
“You all right?” he asked, looking up at her.
“I’m fine.”
“No you’re not.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I am worrying about it.”
“I . . . I’m just hormonal, I guess. I had such a good time with the girls and everyone and I really missed them.”
He patted the couch and she sat down next to him. “We’ll see them again soon,” he said to her with ease. It did nothing for her and he may have known this on some level. Known it and ignored for whatever reason guys ignore things like that.
“I miss my old life.”
This jarred Alex and he turned to her sharply, but not with anger. “What?”
She hugged her belly. “I’m . . . I don’t feel ready for this. Any of this. Do you? Are you ready to give up what we had yesterday? I . . . we’re so young, Alex. We’re not normal. Andrea, Kelly, Todd . . . all of them. They’re normal. They know what they’re doing, right?”
“We know what we’re doing, Sam.”
“Do we? We have everything so nicely planned out, but what if it goes to hell in a hand basket? What if we fuck it up somehow?”
He reached out and took her hand. “We’ll fix it.”
“What if something is wrong with the baby?”
Alex’s face turned inward with thought and feeling, as if the words that he needed to say were buried just so very deep in his brain. “I . . . I don’t know.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of!” she said loudly. “I don’t know if we can handle that. I don’t know if we can handle a kid that’s retarded or sick or . . .”
“We’re young, but we’re not kids,” Alex answered. “We can figure something out if things get messed up.”
“It’s not just you and me anymore, Alex,” she said, cuddling up to him, putting her head on his chest and hugging on his middle. He kissed her head.
“It hasn’t been for a while,” he replied.