COFFEE-STAINED ROMANCE
"THE PARTY"
"THE PARTY"
Kelly woke up to the sound of her alarm and shuffled her way across the room. The apartment was unusually cold and she realized that it might be time to up the temperature (and her gas bill) and bust out the heavier blankets.
The first thing she did was start her coffee. As the aroma of the brew filled the kitchen, she took her shower, discarding her pajama pants and tee shirt on the floor of the bathroom. She emerged a few minutes later, hair up in a towl and robed. She poured her cup 3/4 of the way up and added creamer to dull its pure black thrust.
She sat down on her couch and flicked on the TV. Kelly sipped at her coffee as the news played out before her. Outside, the sky was gray and it looked as though it rained last night. The trees were dull despite their warm colors. It was going to be a quiet day for Kelly. No class, no work . . . she didn't think she'd end up with a day off like this.
After a while, she grew bored with the news. She pulled on a pair of lounge pants (read: pajama pants) and a tee shirt and hungered down with her laptop. Outside, it started to rain pretty hard. Once her computer finished its despressingly slow start-up process - the machine was starting to show its age - she got on-line. Kelly made the usual rounds and finally ended up at Facebook.
Where she had an invitation to a party at Todd's place.
LORREL'S 21st BIRTHDAY!
We will drink, we will be loud, and it will be mother-fuckin' booooooze-time!!1!
"Not very subtle, are you guys?"
She wondered absently about this, about them, about Todd. Kelly seemed to be always on alert about guys. Kelly was always certain that when they were nice to her, they were nice because they liked her -- or at least liked the way she looked and wanted what she had. She felt this same way about Todd. She suspected that he was perhaps crushing on her. Maybe it was the way he wondered about how she felt about "Ultimate X-Men" or maybe it was that he had moved next to her in Comp and Lit.
She was sure, at this point, that he did in fact have a crush on her. It was just a feeling. Just a simple feeling, that's all.
Of course, Kelly didn't feel the same way back. Todd was a nice guy. He was cute and funny, but there was very little common ground. That trip to Starbucks had been a strange anomaly in what had become nothing more than a in-class friendship. He hadn't even IMed her or anything. They friended each other on both Facebook and MySpace.
But that was simply it. Nothing more, nothing less.
Let the boy have his crush, she thought with an amusing smile. It's perfectly fine. He's a nice guy. He probably won't even say anything -- and if he does, big whoop, right? Let him down easy and you'll either get a friend or lose someone who loaned you some comics and gave you a mix.
Simple as that.
She accepted the invitation.
***
Todd was doing fine after two beers. No tingle in his fingers; just a little heat in his cheeks. The party around him was chaotic. He could hear, over the pounding of the speakers, the laughing screams of young women. He heard a few shouts from just outside the backdoor, where a game of Beer-Pong was unfolding. Lorrel was doing shots already in the kitchen with Alex and Roger.
And yet, the one person Todd was really hoping would show hadn't arrived yet. His green eyes scanned the crowd and looked to the door often.
"Todd! Get your ass in here and do a shot!"
Todd complied and followed some slutty-looking chick into the kitchen. There were probably close to thirty party in the apartment, making it a little difficult to navigate. Lorrel was pouring five shots of Jack Daniel's and Todd made sure to have a beer ready as a chaser.
"To school!" Lorrel yelled out, lifting his shot glass high, but somehow managing to not spill a single drop. "To higher education!"
Todd fired it back, the liquid hot and somewhat sweet as it flowed down his throat. He chased it quickly with a beer.
"Got one for me?"
Todd turned around and there she was. Miss Kelly Shaw, with her brown hair back in a braided ponytail, wearing a jacket over a small pink top. She smiled warmly.
He pulled out a shotglass. "You sure? 'Liquor before beer . . .'"
"I thought it was 'beer before liquor.'"
"Well, that's good enough for me," Lorrel stepped in. "Get this girl a shotglass!"
"The birthday boy," Todd said, slapping Lorrel on the back.
"Nice to meet you."
"Same here," Lorrel replied, pouring the next round of shots.
"I need something to chase it down," Kelly stated.
"You can have some of my beer," Todd offered.
"Um . . ."
"Jeez Todd," Lorrel grunted, pulling out a beer from the fridge. "Here ya go."
Kelly smiled at Lorrel; a smile that lasted a little too long for Todd's taste.
They fired the Jack back and Kelly quickly turned to her beer to sooth it's burning journey. Outside, shouts from Beer-Pong echoed into the kitchen.
"Thanks," she said to Lorrel. "Getting the night off right."
"Gotta make that first one count," Lorrel responded.
"So how can you get away with a party this size without pissing off the neighbors?"
"The girt next door - Mellisa - is the one making out with Scott over there," pointed out Lorrel. "The apartment on the other side is empty and the one just after that has two guys who are playing Beer-Pong. They help provide the food and we provide the locale."
"Nice," Kelly replied, taking a swig of her beer.
"You like that kind?" Todd questioned.
She nodded. "Yeah, it's not bad."
"Hey Kelly!" shouted a girl with dirty blonde hair.
"Oh hey Sam. Didn't expect to find you here."
Samantha grinned at her apparent boyfriend. "Alex here is friends with the Beech Hill boys."
"Oh wow, hey, small world, right?" Kelly laughed.
"You two know each other?" asked Todd.
No shit Sherlock, Kelly thought immediately. "Yeah. We have a few classes together."
Samantha and Kelly began to chat. Lorrel walked over and pulled Todd out of the kitchen. "What the fuck are you doing?" he demanded just loud enough for Todd to hear.
"I have no idea." Todd sighed. "I . . . gah . . . nothing's coming out right."
Lorrel slapped his hands onto Todd's shoulders. "Just chill, dude. Relax. Finish the beer, have some more and just have a good time."
"Everything going okay?" asked David, arriving just then.
"Where the fuck you been?" Lorrel questioned.
David lifted a six pack of Smirnoff and a six pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade. "Presents."
Lorrel pulled out a Smirnoff and handed it to Todd. "Go in there and offer this to her."
Todd was pratically pushed into the kitchen. Kelly was still talking it up with Samantha.
"Um, hey Kelly. I have a Smirnoff for you if you want it."
"Huh? Oh no thanks. I've got my beer."
"I'll take it!" Samantha leapt in.
Todd handed it over.
"Thanks Todd!"
When Todd returned to the living room empty-handed, Lorrel sighed, shrugged his shoulders, and turned away from him. David, in the meantime, took Todd by the arms and lead him back through the kitchen, passed the girls, and outside.
"Let's play some Beer Pong."
By the time the game was over, the beer was flat and felt more like a punishment to drink than a pleasure. Todd was starting to feel numb in his hands and had slapped his face to see if he felt anything. He was starting not to. Which was good. It was time to get drunk.
When he returned to the living room, Samantha was nowhere to be found and Kelly was now sitting and talking with a red-haired girl he recognized from Coffee Haven; Danielle, maybe. He gave her a passing looking, but kept walking.
Lorrel was sitting out on the front porch with a pair of friends that Todd didn't really know.
"I need something that'll knock me on my ass," Todd simply interrupted.
"Dude, you're on your own now," Lorrel answered.
Todd was about to reply when suddenly, David appeared at the door. "Hey Todd, I think I just saw that girl you like go downstairs."
"My room!"
Todd moved as fast as he could through the crowd, dodging and weaving best he could to get to the kitchen and the basement door. After finally getting down the stairs, he found Kelly standing in the center of his messy room, looking at a sketchbook on his desk. She jerked her head up.
"Caught me!"
"Yeah," he replied, wishing he had.
"Sorry. I was looking for you and someone told me you were out back and then you weren't, so . . . yeah."
"You came into my room?"
She shrugged. "I was desperate."
"To talk to me?"
Kelly looked down. "Not really. To say good bye. I gotta work tomorrow and I'm already fairly tipsy. I know if I stay too long I'll just keep drinking."
"Oh. Uh, okay."
"Sorry. And uh, I couldn't help but glance at your sketchbook. You're really good."
"Thanks." He paused. "Are you going to be okay to drive?"
"I didn't drive, I walked."
"Oh! Well, let me walk you home at least!"
"What?"
"Yeah. Please. I don't want anything to happen to you."
Kelly looked up in thought, then nodded. "Yeah, sure."
The pair soon stepped outside, the air refreshingly cool after the heat of all those bodies inside the townhouse. Kelly waved at a girl who was sitting on the porch, talking with some guy. "I didn't know you guys knew so many people."
Todd grinned a little. "We don't. People know people . . . and then they all show up."
"Ah, I see. So, you guys have any more parties coming up? I'd like to come when I can actually, y'know, stay and get drunk."
"We're having a huge Halloween bash. I think Lorrell wants it to be even bigger than this one here."
"Geez."
"Yeah. It'll be a blast, I'm sure."
They chatted a bit more, reaching campus. As they made their way around the English Departments and towards the steep hill in the center of campus - in front of the Student Center - Kelly looked at a big group of students running around with no shirts on.
"What is this?" she asked.
"Hell if I know. You didn't see this sort of thing at your last school?
"No. Stark State was just one big ass building. No dorms, no nothing." She looked around then, taking in the sight of campus at night. "I definetly prefer Maxwell. Stark was great, but this actually feels like what a college should be like."
Todd didn't really have much of an answer and went a little quiet. She smiled akwardly at him and the pair kept on going.
"How's your brother?" Todd asked at last. They arrived at the edge of campus now.
"He's fine as far as I know." She said this with a tone that told Todd to not say another word. He recalled her rant at Starbucks and took the tone at its implied value.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to bring up . . ."
"It's okay."
"Uh . . . you look good tonight."
"Thanks. Are you drunk?"
"Honestly?"
"Yes."
He nodded. "A little. The night air - uh, it sobered me up a bit."
"It does do that."
"Hey, Kelly . . . uh, listen . . ." He stammered, trying to get the words straight. Trying to get his half-drunk brain to obey the parts that wanted to ask her out. "I . . . do you want to do something next Friday? Like, get some drinks? See a movie?"
"Oh Lord."
"What?"
"Todd . . ." She stopped and turned to him. "Look, you're a great guy and - "
"Oh come on! That speech?! Seriously?!"
Kelly shrugged. "I'm sorry, Todd. I just don't think of you like that. And, to be honest, I . . . I just kinda got out of this long-term relationship."
"You did?"
"Yeah. I mean, it's been a few months . . . but I'm still just not feeling like dating or going out or anything. Do you understand?"
"I guess so."
"Hey, look. I still want to be friends, okay? You're a cool guy. And I want to read the next X-Men comics!" That last part was an exaggeration.
"Right, right."
She smiled, but it wasn't nor did it look genuine. "I'm sorry, okay?"
"That's fine."
"And we're still friends?"
"Yes, of course."
She stuck out her hand for him to shake. For a brief moment, he felt like just leaning forward and kissing her instead. He fought the half-drunk instinct and shook her small hand.
"Okay," Kelly said, releasing. "I can handle it from here. See you Tuesday?"
"Tuesday it is."
Todd watched then as Kelly walked down the road and turned towards home. Sighing with utter defeat and fighting an unnerving sense of doubt and defeat within him, he turned back towards the party at Beech Hill.
***
His name was Sean Gordon and he was Kelly's first in a lot of ways. First post-high school boyfriend. First man she thought seriously about being married to. First to break her heart harder and with more devastation than all of her stupid high school boyfriends. And, of course, her first lover.
They met at Camp Y-Noah, where Kelly had volunteered to work at the summer after she graduated. It turned out he had been living just up the road a few miles and in a small allotment tucked away off Route 619.
He was her age, their birthday just a few weeks apart. She was taken immediately by his soft green eyes and those black curls that fell across the brow of his face. He was a sweet-talker, always flattering -- to the brink of making her blush furiously, face burning red. But more than anything, there was a sense of maturity within that she had never seen before in someone their age. He was smart; he often talked about wanting to become a biologist.
All of those good things came to an end when, this past June, he slapped her across the face.
Her face burned, but not out of embarassment from compliments; out of a harsh, stinging that remained on her right cheek for hours after the event.
Sean broke down crying after that and he apologized over and over. She tried to understand and even though she eventually told him he was forgiven, she lied. And everything was over with that.
Kelly did everything she could to just push the memories of Sean out of her head as she climbed the stairs to her apartment. She of course recognized that Sean and Todd were completely different people. And she understood that it had been over four months since they broke up. But it didn't change things. Not one bit. She was shaken by the end of that relationship and still felt as though starting a new one now just . . .
"I'm not ready," she sighed, flipping on her living room light. "I don't feel ready."
And she didn't feel that way about Todd. He was a sweet guy, though. And cute, to boot. But she wasn't ready to go down that road.
Kelly got changed. After she laid down in bed, a voice inside her told her something that surprised her.
You're going to have to be. Someday, you're going to have to go down that road again.
***
"Shot you down, huh?"
Todd nodded glumly and gulped his beer. "Yep."
Lorreel smirked. "Don't know what to tell ya."
"I know."
The party had surprisingly calmed down since Todd's little trip. There were maybe fifteen people left. The music had dimmed a little. Break on Through played now.
"I think you can take some comfort in a little friend of mine," Lorrell said then.
"Oh?"
He pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels. "Let's have some drinks with Jackie boy here."
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